It seems like just yesterday you were soothing your child's temper tantrums. Now, she's a teen babysitter and she's coming to you for advice on handling unruly children. My, you think, how times have changed! On the up side, your teen now sees you as a valuable source of information. On the down side, she's experiencing one of the challenges of babysitting: managing negative behavior. What can you do to help her be successful?
First, take time to discuss the issue. Explain that children need extra patience and extra attention at certain times. Engage your teen in a discussion on positive ways to prevent problem behavior so he'll know how to deal with it when it arises. Suggest he use praise or creativity when trying to get a child's cooperation. Remind him that it's best to act quickly when it comes to problem behavior. The longer he allows it to continue, the harder it is to control.
However, combatting the problem never implies the use of force. Young teens should never be allowed to physically punish a child. You can stress a "A No Physical Punishment Rule" by emphasizing to your teen that no physical punishment means no spanking, no hitting, no slapping, no shaking, no pinching and no poking. Problem behavior is the hardest part of taking care of children-for adults as well as teen babysitters! Stress to your child that when she accepts the responsibility of babysitting, she accepts responsibility to be in control of the child's behavior and she must be able to control her own behavior as well.
Encourage your teen to discuss how to manage behavior with the parents before the babysitting job. He may feel uncomfortable bringing it up, but remind him that asking parents how they handle specific situations, such as how to get their child to go to bed, will show maturity and insight on his part. Explain to him that no one expects teen sitters to have all the answers! He should also discuss any problem behavior with the child's parents at the end of the job or call them the next day. You could even practice how he would ask the parents for help. Sometimes babysitters feel they won't be asked to babysit again if everything wasn't "perfect."
However, the possibility does exist that things might not go perfectly and your teen might need help in handling problem behavior. It's wise to consider appropriate ways to react to different scenarios, from major to minor. What if the child she's watching threatens someone with a weapon? What if the child needs rescue from a roof? What if the child threatens to harm himself? In situations where your teen feels physical harm may come to the child or to herself, she should always be instructed to call Emergency Services (911 or police).
What if there's a fight between children that your teen can't stop? If the situation is not potentially life-threatening but still serious, encourage your child to call you if he needs immediate assistance. Your teen should know to call for adult back-up anytime he feels out of control and needs to be relieved right away. He should also be encouraged to call you or the child's parents during the babysitting job if the child won't cooperate, has locked your teen out of the house or is generally out of control.
If your teen reports a problem to you, remember that you are her best resource. You may not have all the answers but you know how to get help. Encourage her to bring questions, issues, or problems to you for discussion as soon as possible after the babysitting job. As an adult, your judgment and life experiences are important to help your teen make decisions on how to handle situations. She will most likely report a problem concerning a child's behavior that she can't handle. Or she might tell you the parents asked her to do more than she was able to do. You can help your child learn to refuse future babysitting jobs with this family.
When your teen reports suspicion of abuse or neglect from the parent, you need to take it seriously. Be sure you ask appropriate questions. If there are obvious signs of physical harm, report it to the proper authorities. Most states have mandatory child abuse and neglect reporting. If you are not aware of the indicators of abuse or neglect that require reporting, you need to contact your local family and children's services, county welfare, or human services department.
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